Mexican Living: Sidewalk Rules

If I had to point to just one cross-cultural similarity between Mexico and America, it would be this: How they walk on sidewalks. They do it absolutely the same way!

You are going to think this so strange but I have a pet peeve about how to walk on a sidewalk. The fact that Mexicans and Americans do it the same identical way drives me insane. Strange as this sounds you have to listen to this:

If walking is the chosen mode of transportation, whether on a public sidewalk or in a shopping mall, doesn't it make sense to have "walking rules"? There are driving rules that one has to employee to keep from killing themselves and everyone else around them when driving, so why not "walking rules"? The point is that without rules there is nothing but chaos.

No matter what country you are in, here is what you will always see: People walking in family groups, all holding hands, and stretched across the entire sidewalk! Moreover, with Mexicans, this can mean a dozen or more family members all wanting to hold hands and take up the entire sidewalk.

They may do all manner of maddening behaviors. I've been behind large family groups walking at a snail's pace who suddenly stop for no reason and just stand there. Or they may suddenly have a family picnic and maybe roast a pig. Someone usually whips out a packed lunch and starts handing out sandwiches to the whole group. A family conference with the father lecturing is not an unusual sight. Sometimes they will start taking family pictures of 14 generations right there in front of you.

In addition, get this: Mexican cannot just agree to say,

"Ok, let's split up and meet at the fountain at 2 o'clock."

Oh no! They have to have an elaborate good-bye ceremony with the mother pronouncing blessings on all the children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and any one else who is just standing there or happens to be walking by—related to her or not! Then there is the kissing! Everyone has to kiss and get kissed multiple times. Augh!

This is insane because they act as though there is no one else in the world but himself or herself walking on the sidewalk. This isn't so bad in a shopping mall in America. At least you can walk around them and give them a menacing glare. However, in Guanajuato, or other small Mexican Colonial towns, the sidewalks are about 24-inches wide and some will narrow to even less around corners.

And that women will try to push a baby carriage down these sidewalks—don't even get me started on that little gem!

Here's what should be the rules of proper sidewalk etiquette:

· Walk in a single file one way or the other. Melt into the thread of people and forget holding hands with your loved one.

· Use hand signals. Just like in a car, if you are going to turn left or right, signal with your hands.

· If you need to talk, lecture, take pictures, roast a pig and eat it, get off the sidewalk!

· Carry your baby in your arms. Forget baby strollers. Imagine your poor child in this thing being rolled over cobblestone sidewalks. It will only make them have enormous bowel movements from the vibrations!

Follow these rules if for no other reason than someone like me is more than likely walking behind you having a nervous breakdown over your sidewalk walking habits.

Do it for me!

Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico.

His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country, can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241